No Love Is Hell

I think often of the way we use to be.
You never really said, you felt happy with me.
You were always too much on the go.
You were like a bird set free, ya know.
A victim running away!
Then my love was easier to say
Than to show.

Told myself you were the one for me.
In the longrun, loneliness was better company.
What was “us” was really lame.
Co-dependent and pain.
We were loosing at this game.

I felt sadness as my longing for you.
I felt gladness as we pretended to be, together.
Alienation, agitation, accusation, resignation and abdication.
Still I could not see,
Until you told me to leave.
What had happened to me?

Where did we go?
I believed I loved you.
I thought you did too!
I must have been the fool.

Then I watched you wander
Through your life so cruel.
I thought I lost you completely,
When you moved to Liverpool.

Still we danced with one another discreetly.
You considered me, at least, a friend.
Me? Still hoping we would be together,
’til the end.

But something happened !
When you put away all men.
Your heart turned inward and then
I began to accept, “we” would never mend.
Cold and distant outwards.
You claimed I was in your heart someplace.
Only because of our son; for me you made that space.

For that much I am grateful.
And it ought never be for more.
Or there might be a premature fateful
Conclusion to our lore.

Its been ten years, perhaps more.
And it’s no longer fine.
Maybe its the snake in my spine.
Or its the wolf in your core.
We might be lifelong friends.
Yet any kind of love is getting harder to send.
Wanting more time with you it harder to sell.
Where there is no love, there is only hell.

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