What were you hiding
Behind your back
Not even I could see.
You had loved me
Like no other had
I thought I could love as well
It all turned out ever so sad
I am sure for you it was hell.
I still remember us in bed
An encounter I had never after
Were I to have except with a woman instead
I know you were deeply hurt as her
Or was she me? And you he?
Later you had taken up with Joanna
Did you ever marry her?
I often wondered about Xenia
That Italo-Russian girl. So feral
You introduced to me.
Now I stay up nights, after removing my make-up,
Alone. Thinking how you might have fared, my dear.
Are you too, alone, contemplating our sin?
Having misnavigated you is my fear.
I remember your smooth adolescent skin.
Where our souls should have never been.
We were hated by those who raised us
At the time we had only each other.
Those years should never have made us.
Yet I wonder, Is your room still in black?
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