He Was Always Yours

He Was Always Yours.

by S. D. Kilmer

Mother Susan, how did you cope?

Did you have a smoke of rope?

That day, February 25, 1988

You could have bathed your child

In your tears.

So infectious was your sorrow.

I began to wish for tomorrow

The child could be ours, instead.

Yours and mine.

Adoptive father and birthmother.

Only I can think like no other.

I followed your career.

So similar to my own.

A Counselor of Compassion.

Continued to wish Anthony be ours.

As the hours sifted, swayed.

Time slipped away.

My marriage went from farce to divorce.

What other direction of course?

I always hoped I might present

Our son back to you.

Facilitate the Mother and Child reunion.

But Anthony found you, I hear.

Without me.

He disowned me, and the other.

Did he say how I was as a Father?

Oh Susan.

I guess he could never have been ours.

He was always yours.

_______________

*Anthony (given name) Nathaniel (adoptive name).

**The author is both an Adoptee & an Adoptive Father.

All writings in this blog are

S. D. Kilmer's Existential Life