Poison & Noise

When you left

Part of me left with you

You had taken from me

What I most needed.

How can I grieve

When you're still alive?

No! you must be dead, I believe!

Because when I came to my senses

Already you were not there.

How does a heart so shattered

Become whole again?

How do we wake up each morning

When our focus is so scattered.

To live a life you were never a part of?

Pretend you don't exist

If not we must ask, "from whom did I come?"

We drown out the sound of our ocular mist

So we avoid getting pissed

By your absence.

In the silence we would hear

our primal screams creeping near.

The tears of the unloved.

the cries of the alienated.

The screams of the abandoned.

Poison and noise.

Damn society's little ployes!

As we drown our awareness.

Even in daymares and daydreams.

Pushing back the silent

    Primal screams.

Noise and poison

There's so little joy in

Drowning our sorrow

Pushing back another tomorrow

Each day an internal struggle

In the life of an Adoptee.

Of course, you can't see!

That the absence of your source of Being.

But we are keen that ours are not here, not there. 

Our source of Being had become

nothingness.

And in that field of nothingness

We fear feeling the absence

That put us here.

_______________

Thanks you to fellow Adoptee Victoria G. 

for inspiring this poem.

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