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Poison & Noise

When you left
Part of me left with you
You had taken from me
What I most needed.

How can I grieve
When you're still alive?
No! you must be dead, I believe!
Because when I came to my senses
Already you were not there.

How does a heart so shattered
Become whole again?
How do we wake up each morning
When our focus is so scattered.
To live a life you were never a part of?

Pretend you don't exist
If not we must ask, "from whom did I come?"
We drown out the sound of our ocular mist
So we avoid getting pissed
By your absence.
In the silence we would hear
our primal screams creeping near.
The tears of the unloved.
the cries of the alienated.
The screams of the abandoned.

Poison and noise.
Damn society's little ployes!
As we drown our awareness.
Even in daymares and daydreams.
Pushing back the silent
    Primal screams.

Noise and poison
There's so little joy in
Drowning our sorrow
Pushing back another tomorrow
Each day an internal struggle
In the life of an Adoptee.

Of course, you can't see!
That the absence of your source of Being.
But we are keen that ours are not here, not there. 
Our source of Being had become
And in that field of nothingness
We fear feeling the absence
That put us here.
Thanks you to fellow Adoptee Victoria G
for inspiring this poem.

Copyright ©️ 2021 HeardWords America


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