S. D. Kilmer's Existential Life

She rested her head upon my shoulder. Took her home. We were so in to one another. I knew then I was in love. I talked alot with another. We had so much in common. Took her in the basement where we worked. We were so in to one another. I knew then I was in love. The third was golden The moment we saw one another We knew then it was right. A week later I returned. Sure enough, she was as hot She heated up the room. We were so in to one another. I knew then I was in love. We were so in to one another. I knew then I was in love, with love. The newness of each was so sweet. Every woman knocked me off my feet. Not one of them were viable to last. I remember them all fondly in the past. With every woman I'd been with. We were so in to one another. And right then I knew. I was in love with love. In all of them, no  futures. But I could always fall in love again. And again I can fall. Because whoever she is We'll be so in to one another. I know now I will be forever in lo

When I was a boy Solace was Where the music played Secure in my small room The music hid me From the rod-in-the-hand From the reeling of the mouth The music transported me To a place no abuse was allowed Where maternal hypocrisy Was replaced by romantic love It was a place where People needed one another People which made them The luckiest Unlike me When I was a boy ________ Copyright ©️ 2017 - 2021 HeardWords America.

O Abbey. Hidden in the mountains. How I miss your warmth. Of worldly cares, there's no account. You are in another place. O Abbey. Your perfume of frankenscence and evergreen. As the mist upon your breast. Creates in my soul an otherworldly scene. Your devoted spirit caress. O Abbey. See what I've created! Such a mess. I am truly as I have always been. Unpurified and poorly enlightened. Still you welcome me a prodigal, So as not to be frightened. O Abbey. Your passages They can only guide one to your heart. Where the nave displays the window to the other world. Our King and his Mother Theotokos. Can be seen there. Lo' for I haven't a clean gown. Fit to be in such magnificent splendors. How shall I return to you? O Abbey, keep your doors open to me. ____________________ Copyright ©️ 2021 HeardWords America

It's just not easy. You gotta breath. You gotta breed. You gotta love one another. But ya gotta know. You gotta know to whom and how. Ya gotta love everybody. Yet there are boundaries. And it's just not easy. To love everybody. To know how to love everybody. To each respecting their boundaries. What degree of love do we love Our neighbors, our enemies? Our intimates, our friends, our family? It's just not easy to know how to Love everybody. It's simply Love a portioned Respectively to each. Some more than others. But loving everybody none the less. Lord knows, it's just not easy. ______________ Copyright ©️ 2021 HeardWords America

He says he's sorry. But he doesn't believe it. She says she still loves him. She knows that ain't the truth. Both are locked together In their mutual bad faith. No truth is in their shared space. He hates her for his being with her. She hates him for never showing his love. Neither can face the truth for themselves. Neither can face the truth in themselves. This is living in bad faith. Being for oneself only. Never Being there for others. What a great waste. But the greatest sin, Are the lies they tell themselves. About themselves they are in delusion. Weaving their lies all around someone else. Neither are their true selves. Neither really knows what they want. So they blame one another. So they hurt each other. With their respective inauthenticity. They languish in the web they've weaved. And with every word they deceive themselves more. More than hurting the other. They are living in bad faith. Bad faith. Like the blood seeping for her eyes. They never kn

Don't feed the fortunate. You possess several houses So many autos. More money than you know what to do with. It's time you start, Sharing with those in need. Thousands in this country to feed. Working their ass off Rewarded with inadequate pay. Too often they'd prefer to lay Down and die, Unable to do right, By their families. There's only one message for the politicians: Don't feed the fortunate. Don't feed the fortunate. Please don't feed the fortunate. Share the wealth. Everyone's equal. Let's make their lives the same. Let it be a sequel. Economic Egalitarian planning. No more inadequate housing No more crowding. A nation that sees to it, Provision of Basic Human Needs. Employment with a living wage. No more hunger into old age. If only you just, Don't be lax with the people's tax. Don't feed the fortunate Don't feed the fortunate. Please don't feed the fortunate. ________________ Co

In a world of rules and expectations. In a world that strips you of your power. When as a child, beaten down at every hour. They tell you to succeed, while they plot your fall and make your life bleed. Now all grown up. So freaking frightened,  You're a mannequin inside. Frozen by the fear. Now that they've got you. They feel so near. You've become invisible to them. But there's no need to hide. Suddenly without warning. Your heart starts racing. You feel suspended; taken out of the world. But you can't move; it's frightening I know. You are in the flow of existence. Don't push the River. It flows where it will. Don't push the River. Let it take you to places Where you have never been. The conflict and contradictions     were well planted within you. Your resistance enflames your suffering. So don't push the River Go where it takes you. You're working through it now. The walls are falling down. The scales that blinded your heart  Are

  I'm wondering how brave you are. How long will you listen, How far? To hear my story six decades long. Tales of when I was weak, and strong. Tales perhaps I should never speak of too long. You've entered my domain. Are we truly the same? Follow me through the halls of madness. If we are the same, we'll enjoy the gladness. If we are so very different, it's you I'll devour. And put you out in the next hour. There'll be no strings, after awhile I'll have forgotten. All about you. If we are the same, I will keep you in my  heart, give you my name. Bound and tethered to my love for Only you. For only, forever. But you must reciprocate. All that I give you. I hope to receive from you. And together we can celebrate. Bringing new light to the dungeons Of our pasts. For as long as we last. In this perfect solitary union. You and I are cast. Into the fire of our communion. _____________ Copyright ©️ 2021 HeardWords America S

It's what I need. A woman tender and sweet. A woman who likes dusks and dawn. A woman who would lust and fawn. Over me alone. It's what I need Being alone. Far from the maddening crowds. Being alone Here alone with her. It's what I need. Someone I can care for. Someone I see to her every need. Just as she does for me. Alone with her here. Or alone anywhere. It's what I need Being alone. Far from the maddening crowds. Being alone Here alone with her. It's strange people just don't understand. They say I'm too old for love. Too old to love a woman. What do they care what we do alone? It's what I need. Being alone. Far from the maddening crowds. Being alone. Here alone with her. It's what I need. Still haven't found her. Haven't found the one . The one to be alone with me. If I can't that one woman. If I can't find that one love. I would rather be alone. _______________ Copyright ©️ 2021 HeardWords America.

You know that we live in contradiction! (Such Contradiction.) White girls acting black. Black middle class being white. Often Des days Darkness mistaken for the Light. And he don't know where to put his... And ya don't know if she's a he Or he's a she. "Holy" men are real predators. The devil gives them their fitness. True believers are amateurs. No one sees their authentic witness. We've got to refuse these contradictions (These Contradictions) Mend what's been torn apart. With ourselves there's a place to start. Say what you mean. Be as your heart believes. Make justice imaginable. Where it's lost it's meaning. As Camus has said. Give happiness meaning. To those poisoned by the misery of the century. (Dire Contradictions) A healthy mind is one That lives in congruence. If everyone existed this way. The earth will have won. We would have created a new day. A world of congruence and truth. Everyone would know How justice has i

I don't remember love. The girl I first loved was left behind. The woman I married was an escape. The woman I divorced was a stranger. When I left I left my son behind. Now he says he was never mine. Oh where is love? It's not so simple  As "love is you and me" It's not a dream. Or as easy as it seems. I can't find love on earth. Ever since love gave me birth.   So I look up So so far up So far up That I'm looking within Within the depths of me. Seeking Love Itself. The great Divine Lover. Who wanted to share. It's Love with us. Himself with us. So much so. He showed us how far Love goes. Taking on our nature. Dying to give us a second chance. For those of us who don't Remember Love. ________________ Copyright ©️ 2021 HeardWords America Image: presumably by Yoko Ono as photographed by Lisa Adams  ©️ 2019

I. Pressed, stashed Saved for another Time, now and then Feeling the feelings that I don't want to be feeling But was told I'd be feeling Those feelings as long as I live with these feelings Buried, hidden Stashed away In the deepest well So far in the shadows Not even I can say. II. Unfinished business, Hidden trauma, Primal wounds, Abused child memories Visceral memories of Abuse and missuse No help from above It's an A.C.E. in any case. Some might say III. As soon as I And I could say, "No" Since, shadows and darkness ago Every word And every gesture Then made into an action Possesses a consequence, No? Some night stay IV. The mother of abuse Gave to it a response Taken down from her shelf Tools Broom sticks, Or a mop, Wire hangers, Pans or a pot It's such a waste in any case. Some night stay In a deepest well V. Mother Of rage, A narcissist In her mist A lost child, who Lost a child. Grew up, or did she, Raised herself A stolen child A lost chi

In All Those Years I was only saying, Sorry. When you tossed my flowers to you into the bin I am indeed so very sorry For your washed brain. By the legal authorities; That was a sin. They told you what to say, Convincing you of things that never happened that day, Between you and I. And for all those lies And shades of truth I did my time In an invisible prison booth. I did no crime. Never hurt your person. I loved you as mine. Could never see you for eight long years. In that time grown large were my fears That; Your life would never be your own. You will surrender it to a man For the security and illusions of life. I should have had my way With you then used a knife. ________ Copyright ©️ 2020 HeardWords America

It is only When we are Being for others That we truly And genuinely loving. It is only When we give --Of ourselves That which God have given to us-- To others, that We are Authentic persons. And when others Give, in return, Of themselves --Absent of guile or resentfulness-- They have loved. To those who loved them. Only then might we say it is, A love project of our separate existence. Only then by our actions. Does our words bare any meaning. I Love You, I Can. If I Love, therefore I Am. Without Love there is No existence. ________ Copyright ©️ 2021 HeardWords America

Back in high school they said, I wasn't as big as I thought myself to be. Confirming at home what they thought of me. I never sought to be first, or ahead. Always knew I'd be a better number two. But I did my hardest to be deep Still I was called a creap. I must have been their reflection. Shining back at them. _______________ Copyright ©️ 2021 HeardWords America.