Once my life was as bright as the golden sun. During those days, I thought you and I were one. You made me very blue when you told me to leave you. Eventually I became use to it. Until years later, I thought I might have a chance. We became good friends, again. Better than before. I just couldn't leap over your new boundaries that kept us as only friends, nothing more. You possessed a strange manner In relation to your "ex's". Remaining friends with them with whom you arrived at an end? What man can have a former lover as a friend? Suddenly they were wandering around. Fixing things or seeking to be fixed! How does an "ex" trust another "ex"? What man can have a former lover as a friend? That night I must have glowed as light green was my apprehension, fear and terror to loss of you whom apparently were not mine to possess. Turning deep green, my jealousy & envy; that ran blood red in my annoyance unto rage. Days gone past when Deep
S. D. Kilmer's Existential Writings of an Adoptee & Introvert