Seeking a Destiny

My mother told me I will die;
Well, she really said,
I will "amount to nothing".
It might as well be nothingness.
I am still alive.
But she would have me,
Not exist.
Just not on her list.

Existence are the choices we make.
That make us genuine, authentic and shining forth.
One can have life without existence.
It would be a poor life of everydayness.
I suppose that's what she wanted for me.

Her adopted son. Her chosen one.
Having had my past exploded,
Of her own baggage she unloaded.

Had to duck my head,
Put arms up for protect,
Ran for my life instead,
Seeking someone else's affection.

In my very choosing.
I was loosing.
Blossoming into a Me that I could not Be.
The decisions made were unraveling.
In my very choosing I was loosing
This fight.

At this game I've been,
Forced to play.
Again and again
Having been thrown.
On my first birth day known.
The heart moaned
Of the ache from the attacks
Upon the way home.

How does an Adoptee,
Seeking a destiny,
Free his mind from the fog?
Free her feet from the bog?
It's quite fundamentally,
Trusting in those who love us.
Truly, selflessly love us.
If they do, we will know
They'll never go away.

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